This blog is about my family, especially on this day, all my family members who have served in the military, starting with my two uncles who both served in Vietnam as teenagers. My uncle, my mother’s brother, Marine Corporal Robert “Sonny” Hollins “Hoo-rah”, who at the age of 19 was wounded in Vietnam and received the Purple Heart.

Today I learned that my 3 judge panel motion was turned down without granting a hearing for me to present my evidence. It was another tough day, one of many in my life.

Today something was confirmed that I’ve always known. I watched two men arguing over something most people would consider trivial at best. It was about some street in Baltimore and what was located on the corner of that street – whether it was an abandoned building or an abandoned store. This seemingly meaningless argument of semantics led to an all out brawl in which one person ended up being taken to the infirmary.

I’ve taken to writing poetry as my mind wanders about the circumstances in which I find myself. I can empathize with how Senator John McCain felt as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. I can empathize with Kenneth Bey in North Korea. I can empathize with U S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl being held by the Taliban.

I was talking today to a 21 year old young man from Baltimore, MD. As I listened to his story about how he’s grown up with drug dealers, con men, and gang members as his idol, it struck me that his life was nearly over before it ever got started. I tried to explain to him that the choices you make and the people you idolize ultimately will reflect who and what you’ll become.

My Bucket List:

When this nightmare is over, and I hope it to be soon, there are things I want to do. The first thing I’m going to do is hug and kiss my family, and thank those who assisted us in overturning this nightmare. After that, I’m going to visit my mother’s grave and talk to her.

I want to thank my family, my friends, and my co-workers, both in the Army, the police department, and with Homeland Security for their support, their letters of encouragement, and for keeping the faith -- and, my baseball buddies. And a special thanks to the Hayes, Simon, and Hampton families for looking out for my love ones, for being there when I couldn’t be and accepting my family as their own.

Today is December 31, 2013. In order for a just society to truly succeed, we must trust our judicial system. When we find out that that bond of trust has been broken with lies and perjury and false statements, it erodes our confidence as it relates not just to who we are as people, but what the constitution truly stands for.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the death of a fellow soldier, Army Private Charles E. Bush Jr. of Buffalo, New York. Private Bush, another in a long line of American heroes who died in Iraq on behalf of a grateful nation. I was tasked with the honor of escorting Private Bush’s body home to Buffalo, New York, and delivering his remains to his family.

As another day comes to a close, I’m reminded that prison life is raw and uncut. I watched as one inmate stabbed another inmate numerous times. It’s simply a gladiator pit where only the strong survive. Prison will determine your true character; it will reveal who you are, and who you are not, in every sense of the word.

Today is my oldest sister’s birthday; God rest her soul. She loved me and always gave me words of encouragement my entire life. Whenever I think about her as a young girl who had to grow up fast and take on the responsibilities of the world. My sister, June, is my hero.

I was again today reminded how precious life is. I saw a story on TV about a soldier in the Army who came home from Iraq and has been unable to adjust; he committed suicide. My heart goes out to him and his family; only God knows “the trouble he’s seen”. It made remember when I was stationed down at Ft Polk, LA as a young Specialist 4th Class, full of ideals and enthusiasm.

I have to fight through the depression and despair of having my post conviction petition turned down. Everyone says the evidence is there that shows the misconduct, the perjury and false statements, the ineffective assistance of counsel, but the battle for freedom continues; the fight for justice goes on. The illusion of justice is like Dorothy looking behind the curtain and finding out there really is no Wizard of Oz, and once you see behind the curtain, you can never be the same.

Today my mother would have been 74 years old, and the lessons she taught me as a child still remain with me today. She grew up in a time when opportunities were slim to none; mostly none for women like her. She picked cotton with her brothers and sisters up until she was eighteen years old, which was in 1957.

I had a weird dream last night about an incident that happened about twenty years ago at 4300 Vermillion Ave., a high rise building where nearly 500 families, many on section 8 lived. Crime was rampant inside the building as well as outside in the parking lot and the surrounding area. The Police Dept received daily calls for shootings, robberies, and drug dealing even in the lobby entrance of the building.

As I reminisce about my life certain dates come to mind. It was about fourteen years ago that my unit deployed to Bosnia as part of a NATO peacekeeping force.

Everyone should say a prayer for the innocent lives lost yesterday at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Say a prayer for all children; for the innocence that was lost; say a prayer for the parents who will never hold their little ones again.